Christchurch Airport

The wow-ometer that was to have remained switched off for a few days sprang into life unexpectedly as we took off from Queenstown.  The flight climbed slowly over the spectacular Southern Alps. The landscape of this country's interior is as remarkable as its coastline - snow-capped peaks, lush green valleys and winding empty roads.  The view from the plane on a sunny day is stunning. 

New Zealand has a gentle sense of humour that permeates most aspects of life including their in-flight catering.  Air New Zealand managed to serve a snack despite the shortness of our flight;  our choice - one of two cookies, Grandma's Oat or Hokey-Pokey. We sampled both. Grandma certainly knows her oats; perhaps she should have been consulted when the cookie creators were assembling Hokey-Pokey. 

Once on the ground at Christchurch, 'normal' airport life was all too quickly resumed - check-in queues, security queues, some time-wasting immigration/customs form-filling, all the usual completely ineffective and unnecessary bollocks!  I purchased a rather fetching hat in Rotorua. As the Muse thinks I look quite good in it, this most tasteful piece of headware rarely leaves my head. Not even at airport security. My carry-on bag is x-rayed, my iPhone is x-rayed, my wallet and belt and coins are microscopicly examined, but for all security knows, I could have had a kilo of high explosives or heroin inside my hat! I could wish it wasn't all such a bloody badly organised shambles, because one day soon one of the world's nut-cases will smuggle something unholy on board an aircraft and kaboom!  Hope we're both on the ground when it happens.  To top it all, the airport appears to be conducting a post-security screen survey. We were happy to take part as it helped pass another few minutes.  A charming gentleman by the name of Mugar Mohammed asked us what we thought of New Zealand's airport security. What did I say about NZ's sense of humour?

The wait for our flight to Melbourne is our longest stop-over at an airport. Hunger has driven us to one of the many food outlets in the departure area. There is the inevitable, inescable, insufferable background music playing.  It is the Bee Gees track 'Tragedy'. What a perceptive selection. I couldn't have described my Chicken Strudel or the Muse's Italian Panini any better.  We ate in silence both amazed at the ease with which so many potentially tasty ingredients can be combined in a way that ensures the flavours cancel each other out.  To add insult to injury, the Bee Gees lyric includes a precise reference to our present state......'going nowhere'.

The stopover, however, benefits you dear reader as it provides an ideal time to continue my ramblings and to use some of the remaining credit on my NZ sim card.  Ah! I think we're off. The girl on the Tannoy is just explaining carefully and precisely how we board the aircraft - presumably for the benefit of those passengers who don't have legs! Bye!

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