The Last Post
In a couple of hours the hotel chauffeur will drive us to the airport and we will be on our way back home. We left the UK on Feb 1 and the last six weeks have just flown by.
We have seen some amazing places and had some wonderful experiences. With a few minor alterations to our itinerary, we would gladly start the whole trip all over again! So what have been the high points, what have been the low points and what if any have been the disappointments?
The best all-round experience by a very long way was Kangaroo Island and the Southern Ocean Lodge. Everything about this three-day stay was fantastic - the lodge itself, our suite, the food, the staff, the excursions, the scenery, the location, all were pretty near perfect. You might say, so it should be at the price, but it was just so good that you can't really argue about the cost. The only major Australian animal we didn't see there was the emu and I think I'll survive without getting up close and personal with an oversize chicken!
The best city on the trip was undoubtedly Sidney. It was just beautiful. Even without its iconic architectural landmarks its watefront areas are quite glorious. In the 'City we'd be most likely to move to' award it beats Perth into second place because of Perth's remoteness from the rest of the world and the rest of Australia. Perth, though was also lovely, just a bit more laid back.
Best hotel has to go Southern Ocean Lodge. Nothing else even came close and I suspect we will never stay in such a beautiful hotel anywhere else in the world. Cape Town's Cape Heritage has to get the runner-up award not because it is especially glamourous or luxurious, but because it is just charming and the staff simply cannot do enough for the occupants of their 17 rooms. It is a true boutique hotel with a great feel - and very good breakfasts.
Single most amazing excursion is almost impossible. Robben Island is the clear highlight of our stay in Cape Town, but we've only had three days here. The boat trip on Milford Sound was probably the main New Zealand highlight, but the scenery on South Island was just so breath-taking everywhere that it was one highlight amongst many. In Australia, despite the misery that the flies can cause if you're not wearing a net, Ayers Rock or Uluru as it is now called has to be seen to believed.
Best guest house/B&B was undoubtedy the Te Anau Lodge in New Zealand - really comfortable and a great breakfast.
The most comfortable bed was in the cheapest hotel. Congratulations to Hawaii's Ohana International Hotel on the edge of Honolulu's airport. Unexciting in every way it may have been, but we got a very good night's sleep and in the end that's all that matters.
Our biggest disappointment was the second most expensive hotel on the trip. Longitude 131 didn't fulfill expectations. Perhaps we were expecting too much or perhaps coming so soon after Southern Ocean Lodge, it was just not able to keep up. The location was undeniably stunning and the views from our room of Ayers Rock and the surrounding terrain were wonderful, but as reported earlier, attention to detail was lacking and the whole place perhaps needs a makeover.
Best meal....well Aria in Sydney was good; Baia in Cape Town was good, but we're back to Southern Ocean Lodge. Three lunches, three dinners, 21 courses, they simply didn't put a foot wrong.
Worst experience is relatively easy, not because it wasn't an interesting one, rather it was the worst smelling one. The Devil's Gate in Rotorua was truly horrible. The sulphurous stench was just awful and an hour walking round boiling hot stinking mud pools is not an experience either of is will want to repeat.
Dullest place looking back was Hawaii. We're just not sure why anyone would want to live there. The weather is OK as long as you pick the right spot, but why not live in California. The weather's almost as good and it's not quite as remote. At the end of the day, it's just America!
And finally the award for the worst airline. There can be only one winner here and for it's ability to fuck up in spectacular style, we must advise everyone planning a trip similar to ours to avoid British Airways if at all possible. Their business class lounge at Cape Town is third rate and despite having booked our whole trip months ago, the Muse and I find ourselves seated two rows apart on an overbooked flight. We have flown over 35,000 miles on this trip, most of that mileage in business or first class but many flights on aircraft large and small at the back of the plane. Not once were we seated apart and indeed only once when flying economy were we not given the exit row seats with extra legroom. On this our longest single trip BA have managed to overbook both first and business cabins and separate the two of us. BA staff naturally make the usual pathetic inadequate excuses and profess their inability to make any seat changes. They're all worse than useless. If this is how they run an airline, the sooner the whole sorry mess goes bankrupt and gets bought by Branson, the better.
A charming and delightful young businesswoman on her way back to London kindly agrees to swap her seat with mine and Travelling Man and Muse are reunited. There that wasn't very difficult, was it. Thank you anonymous young lady; you know who are you are and we both appreciate your kindness. Our mystery saviour, however, flies this route quite often and has warned us that the combination of a Cape Town BA departure and a Heathrow T5 landing is very bad news for luggage. This is apparently one of the worst routes for lost cases....great! I guess we'll keep our fingers crossed. Assuming we have seen the last of our luggage, we can only hope that the West African tribesmen who do get it make good use of a large number of pairs of Marks & Spencer XXL underpants and the Muse's very tasteful thongs and other feminine items.
And then of course, there's the joy, the sheer unimaginable joy, the joy unconfined, of more bloody airline food. The menu reads so well - dishes like 'Marinated Breast of Chicken' or 'Herb-Marinated Sirloin of Beef' - and we know even before it arrives that it's going to look as though it's been in a train crash and taste like.....like......like....well it's not going to taste of anything. It's just going to coat your teeth as you exercise your jaws! I mean what's the point. If they want something to keep the crew occupied, why not just give them puzzle books or something. We, the passengers are quite happy being left alone to sleep or swap travel horror stories.
Ooh yummy, here comes supper!
In a couple of hours the hotel chauffeur will drive us to the airport and we will be on our way back home. We left the UK on Feb 1 and the last six weeks have just flown by.
We have seen some amazing places and had some wonderful experiences. With a few minor alterations to our itinerary, we would gladly start the whole trip all over again! So what have been the high points, what have been the low points and what if any have been the disappointments?
The best all-round experience by a very long way was Kangaroo Island and the Southern Ocean Lodge. Everything about this three-day stay was fantastic - the lodge itself, our suite, the food, the staff, the excursions, the scenery, the location, all were pretty near perfect. You might say, so it should be at the price, but it was just so good that you can't really argue about the cost. The only major Australian animal we didn't see there was the emu and I think I'll survive without getting up close and personal with an oversize chicken!
The best city on the trip was undoubtedly Sidney. It was just beautiful. Even without its iconic architectural landmarks its watefront areas are quite glorious. In the 'City we'd be most likely to move to' award it beats Perth into second place because of Perth's remoteness from the rest of the world and the rest of Australia. Perth, though was also lovely, just a bit more laid back.
Best hotel has to go Southern Ocean Lodge. Nothing else even came close and I suspect we will never stay in such a beautiful hotel anywhere else in the world. Cape Town's Cape Heritage has to get the runner-up award not because it is especially glamourous or luxurious, but because it is just charming and the staff simply cannot do enough for the occupants of their 17 rooms. It is a true boutique hotel with a great feel - and very good breakfasts.
Single most amazing excursion is almost impossible. Robben Island is the clear highlight of our stay in Cape Town, but we've only had three days here. The boat trip on Milford Sound was probably the main New Zealand highlight, but the scenery on South Island was just so breath-taking everywhere that it was one highlight amongst many. In Australia, despite the misery that the flies can cause if you're not wearing a net, Ayers Rock or Uluru as it is now called has to be seen to believed.
Best guest house/B&B was undoubtedy the Te Anau Lodge in New Zealand - really comfortable and a great breakfast.
The most comfortable bed was in the cheapest hotel. Congratulations to Hawaii's Ohana International Hotel on the edge of Honolulu's airport. Unexciting in every way it may have been, but we got a very good night's sleep and in the end that's all that matters.
Our biggest disappointment was the second most expensive hotel on the trip. Longitude 131 didn't fulfill expectations. Perhaps we were expecting too much or perhaps coming so soon after Southern Ocean Lodge, it was just not able to keep up. The location was undeniably stunning and the views from our room of Ayers Rock and the surrounding terrain were wonderful, but as reported earlier, attention to detail was lacking and the whole place perhaps needs a makeover.
Best meal....well Aria in Sydney was good; Baia in Cape Town was good, but we're back to Southern Ocean Lodge. Three lunches, three dinners, 21 courses, they simply didn't put a foot wrong.
Worst experience is relatively easy, not because it wasn't an interesting one, rather it was the worst smelling one. The Devil's Gate in Rotorua was truly horrible. The sulphurous stench was just awful and an hour walking round boiling hot stinking mud pools is not an experience either of is will want to repeat.
Dullest place looking back was Hawaii. We're just not sure why anyone would want to live there. The weather is OK as long as you pick the right spot, but why not live in California. The weather's almost as good and it's not quite as remote. At the end of the day, it's just America!
And finally the award for the worst airline. There can be only one winner here and for it's ability to fuck up in spectacular style, we must advise everyone planning a trip similar to ours to avoid British Airways if at all possible. Their business class lounge at Cape Town is third rate and despite having booked our whole trip months ago, the Muse and I find ourselves seated two rows apart on an overbooked flight. We have flown over 35,000 miles on this trip, most of that mileage in business or first class but many flights on aircraft large and small at the back of the plane. Not once were we seated apart and indeed only once when flying economy were we not given the exit row seats with extra legroom. On this our longest single trip BA have managed to overbook both first and business cabins and separate the two of us. BA staff naturally make the usual pathetic inadequate excuses and profess their inability to make any seat changes. They're all worse than useless. If this is how they run an airline, the sooner the whole sorry mess goes bankrupt and gets bought by Branson, the better.
A charming and delightful young businesswoman on her way back to London kindly agrees to swap her seat with mine and Travelling Man and Muse are reunited. There that wasn't very difficult, was it. Thank you anonymous young lady; you know who are you are and we both appreciate your kindness. Our mystery saviour, however, flies this route quite often and has warned us that the combination of a Cape Town BA departure and a Heathrow T5 landing is very bad news for luggage. This is apparently one of the worst routes for lost cases....great! I guess we'll keep our fingers crossed. Assuming we have seen the last of our luggage, we can only hope that the West African tribesmen who do get it make good use of a large number of pairs of Marks & Spencer XXL underpants and the Muse's very tasteful thongs and other feminine items.
And then of course, there's the joy, the sheer unimaginable joy, the joy unconfined, of more bloody airline food. The menu reads so well - dishes like 'Marinated Breast of Chicken' or 'Herb-Marinated Sirloin of Beef' - and we know even before it arrives that it's going to look as though it's been in a train crash and taste like.....like......like....well it's not going to taste of anything. It's just going to coat your teeth as you exercise your jaws! I mean what's the point. If they want something to keep the crew occupied, why not just give them puzzle books or something. We, the passengers are quite happy being left alone to sleep or swap travel horror stories.
Ooh yummy, here comes supper!
Comments