The Comair flight to Cape Town is an early morning commuter flight. Our cabin is full of very serious looking individuals, tapping away at laptops or reading the early morning papers and all looking very smart. In the midst of this earnest group sit Travelling Man and Muse in our normal travel scruff outfits. This is a British Airways flight operated by Comair. I'm really not sure quite what that means. It's a BA plane, but the cabin staff aren't in BA uniforms and fuckadoodledoo the catering is pure BA - an absolute text book example of how to make good food disgusting.
Breakfast on this flight started with a fruit platter. All you have to do to make this acceptable is cut up a small quantity of fresh fruit and arrange it on a plate. THEN STOP! Nope - BA can't do that. Instead they have employed an O-level chemistry student to create some disgusting, sticky, sweet, vaguely green slime to 'enhance' the appearance and flavour. What they have succeeded in doing is making perfectly good fruit revolting. I think I might actually need the sick bag!
Next course, which I shall attempt to consume in the interests of research is very hard, because I must make a choice. Before me the trolley dolly stands holding a tray on which are arranged four irresistible plates of different coloured stuff. There is the 'vegetarian option' which consists of some red stuff, four mushrooms, something round and brown and a green and yellow triangle of who knows what. Next to that is the chicken and green slime sausage with breakfast potatoes. Then we have a muesli bowl with a teaspoon of dried fruit and lumpy yoghurt. Finally there is a plate of something else. It has been described to me twice in, I think, English. I knew none of the words spoken nor recognised anything on the plate. I later learned that this had been some sort of pancake. The latter sounded and looked so appalling that I have chosen the vegetarian option.
I honestly feel as though we are taking part in some sort of weird and hideous experiment designed to test the limits of the human digestive system.
Well the vegetarian option wasn't too ghastly. The brown thing turned to be a potato cake with cheese in it; the green and yellow triangle was probably an attempt at an omelette with spinach; the mushrooms were, well, mushrooms and the red stuff will forever remain a mystery.
The Muse has very sensibly opted to eat nothing more, having been disappointed with the fruit in chemistry student slime followed by a travesty of a croissant.
It can only improve from here!
Anyway, we've arrived. The flight lands 10 minutes early. The hotel's chauffeur is there to meet us and within an hour, we're checked in.
And we have free wifi.
Breakfast on this flight started with a fruit platter. All you have to do to make this acceptable is cut up a small quantity of fresh fruit and arrange it on a plate. THEN STOP! Nope - BA can't do that. Instead they have employed an O-level chemistry student to create some disgusting, sticky, sweet, vaguely green slime to 'enhance' the appearance and flavour. What they have succeeded in doing is making perfectly good fruit revolting. I think I might actually need the sick bag!
Next course, which I shall attempt to consume in the interests of research is very hard, because I must make a choice. Before me the trolley dolly stands holding a tray on which are arranged four irresistible plates of different coloured stuff. There is the 'vegetarian option' which consists of some red stuff, four mushrooms, something round and brown and a green and yellow triangle of who knows what. Next to that is the chicken and green slime sausage with breakfast potatoes. Then we have a muesli bowl with a teaspoon of dried fruit and lumpy yoghurt. Finally there is a plate of something else. It has been described to me twice in, I think, English. I knew none of the words spoken nor recognised anything on the plate. I later learned that this had been some sort of pancake. The latter sounded and looked so appalling that I have chosen the vegetarian option.
I honestly feel as though we are taking part in some sort of weird and hideous experiment designed to test the limits of the human digestive system.
Well the vegetarian option wasn't too ghastly. The brown thing turned to be a potato cake with cheese in it; the green and yellow triangle was probably an attempt at an omelette with spinach; the mushrooms were, well, mushrooms and the red stuff will forever remain a mystery.
The Muse has very sensibly opted to eat nothing more, having been disappointed with the fruit in chemistry student slime followed by a travesty of a croissant.
It can only improve from here!
Anyway, we've arrived. The flight lands 10 minutes early. The hotel's chauffeur is there to meet us and within an hour, we're checked in.
And we have free wifi.
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